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How to write your own wedding vows

Direct answer. In an Australian civil ceremony, the Marriage Act treats it as sufficient if each of you says a specific short sentence to the other ("I call upon the persons here present to witness that I... take thee... to be my lawful wedded wife, husband, or spouse", or words to that effect), and your celebrant must say a separate statement about the nature of marriage first. Everything beyond that (the vows you actually hear exchanged at most weddings) is written by the couple, not required by law. You can keep the legal sentence on its own, or build your own vows around it.

Written by Vereli Weddings. Last reviewed 8 October 2026.

What the law actually requires

Two separate things happen in a civil ceremony (one performed by a celebrant who isn't a minister of religion), both set out in the Marriage Act 1961:

Your celebrant's statement (section 46). Before you marry, your celebrant must say, to both of you in front of your witnesses:

"I am duly authorised by law to solemnise marriages according to law. Before you are joined in marriage in my presence and in the presence of these witnesses, I am to remind you of the solemn and binding nature of the relationship into which you are now about to enter. Marriage, according to law in Australia, is the union of 2 people to the exclusion of all others, voluntarily entered into for life."

The Act allows "words to that effect", so your celebrant may phrase it slightly differently, but it has to say the same thing.

What you say to each other (section 45). Section 45(2) says the marriage is sufficiently solemnised if each of you says to the other, in front of your celebrant and witnesses:

"I call upon the persons here present to witness that I, [your name], take thee, [their name], to be my lawful wedded wife (or husband, or spouse)."

Again, "words to that effect" is allowed, so the wording can differ slightly as long as it says the same thing; ask your celebrant which version they use. This is the one sentence in an Australian civil ceremony that the Act sets out for the two of you to say.

A ceremony performed by a minister of religion can instead follow that religion's own recognised form, which may already include different or additional required words. Check with your own celebrant if that applies to you.

Writing your own vows around it

Once the legally required sentence is said, there's no restriction on what else you say. Most couples treat their "real" vows as a separate, personal addition, either before or after the legal words, not instead of them. A few starting points:

  • Decide on a structure first. A common shape is: something about how you met or fell in love, a promise or two that's specific to your relationship (not a generic list), and a closing line that ties back to the day. Writing to a structure is usually easier than starting from a blank page.
  • Write your own, not identical. Many couples write separately and don't read each other's vows until the ceremony. Ask your celebrant how they usually run it, since celebrants vary in whether they want to see a copy in advance (some require it, to plan timing and prompts).
  • Keep a copy with your celebrant. However you write them, give your celebrant a copy ahead of time in case nerves get in the way on the day. Most will offer to read a line back to you if needed.
  • Decide together whether you'll match in length and tone, even if you don't share the actual words: a short, funny set of vows next to a long, serious one can feel uneven to guests, even though nothing is wrong with either style on its own.

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